10 Steps To Making a Hit Valentine’s Day Movie
1. Locate screenplay for the Citizen Kane of romantic dramas
2. Write a script, swapping out minor details while maintaining the critical premise of memory loss
3. Re-hire Rachel McAdams and Ryan Gosling
4. Shit. Ryan Gosling’s booked.
5. Find appropriate replacement. Mystery accent not needed. Pained “my sock is wet” expression still critical.
6. Make movie.
7. Title movie by using the following formula…definite article + noun
8. Create movie poster where the co-stars embrace closely but — and this is critical — a kiss is implied. The hook is set.
9. Pin said poster on Pinterest
10. Pat yourself on the back. You’ve just made a hit movie.